Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone

I have always been that kid who stood in the corner of the playground waiting on someone to come and ask me to play with them rather than going over and asking can I join in.

At the age of 26 I still get nervous and anxious when faced with the prospect of going anywhere by myself- even if it is just to the corner shop.

When my friend had to unexpectedly pull out of the Iconic Bronze launch night at late notice I immediately contemplated not going too. I even started writing my apologetic email to say I couldn’t attend. But at the same time I had already done my hair and make-up and had my outfit laid out ready to go. Do I play it safe and stay in comfort zone and get back in my pyjamas or do I bite the bullet and go anyway? The real question was do I let this full face of make-up go to waste?

Even though during my time at Uni I jetted off to America not once but twice by myself I wasn’t completely by myself. The first time I had an international advisor who picked me up from the airport and made sure I got settled in and introduced me to people. On my second trip to America as a student I spent the first few weeks with a host family and two other Irish students who were doing the same programme as me. So even though I flew thousands of miles away from my friends and family in Belfast I wasn’t really alone.

This time I really was travelling alone. I was about to get on a bus to Dublin by myself not knowing anyone else who would be at the event.

My mummy has always said to me “As long as you have a mouth on you you’ll never be lost or alone” so I thought frig it what have I got to lose?

I am still relatively new to the blogger world so on top of being nervous and as they say in Belfast ‘scundered’ about going to an event by myself I also was really anxious about being the newbie amongst other experienced bloggers. What if they thought I wasn’t ‘big’ enough or worthy enough to be there?

This exact fear was immediately realised upon entering the event. Another girl who also came by herself came over and asked did I come alone and we started chatting. Inside I let out a sigh of relief and thought thank God I’m not the only one. She then asked what my Instagram handle was to follow me. When her name popped up I saw she had nearly 10,000 followers compared to my mere 600 odd, I did feel a bit scundered but we kept chatting and I tried to not let the numbers bother me. Around 10minutes later she spotted a few girls she knew arrive and despite her saying ‘I’ll be back in a minute’ I never saw her again the rest of the night and she unfollowed me the next morning.

I get that we won’t always get on with everyone that we meet and that is completely fine but I just couldn’t help but let that fear and paranoia of being unworthy and not having many followers creep in and the little confidence that I did have to start a conversation with someone was gone. Maybe I was just being paranoid or overthinking the situation, maybe it wasn’t about the number of followers I have but in that moment that was the only logical reason I could think of.

After a while of feeling sorry for myself and thinking why the hell did I do this, I went and got myself a glass of (dutch courage) gin and thought wise up. I was lucky enough to get an invite so I should be grateful and make the most of it.

I ended up recognising a fellow NI Blogger who I followed on Insta and and spotted at a few other events and this time fuelled with some pink gin I, yes me the kid usually seen hiding in the corner, put on my big girl panties, approached her and introduced myself.

My “I’m really scundered”, “I shouldn’t be here” thoughts were put to the back of my mind and I ended up meeting some lovely, genuine girls some who I admire from behind the squares on a daily basis. Even though they came together in a group they were really welcoming and didn’t once make me feel like an intruder or a billy no mates. The t-shirt I wore that night had the slogan “Girls Support Girls” written on it and the girls that I ending up spending my evening with where the true definition of that statement. They restored my faith in the insta community and proved that it isn’t competitive or about numbers but about embracing new adventures and meeting new people. We ended up having a great night filled with brilliant music, plenty of gin, candy floss, good food and the gorgeous Georgia and Rosie from love island- The Iconic Bronze team really know how to throw a party!

 

So…did I survive? Did I end up having a good night? Yes! Was it slightly terrifying? Yes! Will it be the last time I do it? No!

By no means am I the type of person who can be a social butterfly and feel 100% confident in their own skin regardless of the situation. I can guarantee that I will always feel nervous about doing something by myself but I do think that stepping out of your comfort zone is something that you have to do every now and again. We will have more regret about the things that we didn’t do in life and the great adventures and friendships we missed out on rather than the things we did do.

Don’t miss out on things just because you don’t have a plus one. Trust me- if I can do it anyone can!

 

ER

xoxo